I’ve been doing a lot of reading, and talking – well, listening - to other women share their experiences, and I can’t believe the controversial theories and tips I find! Especially regarding nursing. My assumption is there is no one way to do anything, but also, concerning the new mothers I speak with, most have only had one or maybe two babies and can therefore only say what did or did not work for them, not what worked better or worse; they can’t very easily compare their own experiences because they haven’t had enough of them.
One book on breastfeeding seems to be written by the biggest breastfeeding Nazi! He (yes, a man. An OBGYN - he and his wife nursed their son until he was four!) Anyway, his way of talking pretty much says if any woman has experienced painful nursing it is because she is doing it wrong. “There is no reason for nursing to hurt if you are doing it correct. It’s all about the latch. If your doctor or nurse tells you your latch is fine, but it still hurts, they are wrong. If someone tells you nursing will always hurt for awhile, they shouldn’t be talking.” So according to him I’ve never met anyone who nursed “correctly.” He says a lot of other stuff that all pretty much comes down to ‘if you start off with a good latch then you won’t have any problems” (lack of supply, pain, nipple confusion, etc.) Ok…so that sounds great, but then why does every woman I’ve spoken with describe nursing as one of the worst parts of labor/new motherhood?
I want Dave to be able to help with feedings so unless we try giving him tons of estrogen injections I think a bottle is the only way to go. Yet Dr. Nazi says absolutely no artificial nipples (pacifier or bottle) because with those the baby’s mouth is barely open and for nursing she needs her mouth huge otherwise she’ll only get the nipple and it will hurt – bad latch. Ok, that makes sense; yet I want Dave to be able to feed her. Maybe we’ll just not introduce an artificial nipple for a few weeks, right? But then I hear women talk about when they didn’t introduce a bottle for a few weeks, or only sporadically and the baby either completely rejected it or, because it hadn’t had enough exposure to it, simply stopped accepting a bottle. Their suggestion to me was to introduce the bottle frequently and early on. So what’s a person to think?
And when do you start nursing? Apparently in Scandinavian culture the wet baby is immediately placed on the mothers belly and then within 20 minutes it finds its own way to the breast. I didn’t realize humans were marsupials. And wouldn’t the baby be cold?
Dr. Nazi says part of the nursing problem is babies are not given immediately to their mothers and if they are it is wrapped in a blanket instead of against her skin. Does the 2 minute delay of washing and weighing really psychologically disrupt a new baby’s instincts?
Oh, and don’t wrap up your baby in blankets or you won’t be able to read her “signs” that she is hungry – trying to suck on hands, smacking lips, rooting, etc. Also have her “room-in” with you and feed her whenever she wants for however long she wants. Remember, according to Dr. Nazi, even with a long feeding, if the latch is correct it shouldn’t hurt. But then I hear mothers say the best thing they ever did after giving birth was give the baby to the nurse and say “You take care of her. Bring her back when she’s hungry; I need to sleep.” And then they do sleep, delaying inevitable sleep deprivation for at least one night. Then they say don’t keep the baby in your room. Get some rest. Only go in every few hours; she’ll survive without constant feeding and you’ll feel much better. But I also read you should feed the baby before she starts to cry since crying signifies the later stages of hunger.
What’s a person to think? Anyway, I’m trying to figure what I want but… there is just so much to sift through. Any ideas?
8 comments:
Even after two kids it all still sounds confusing. I breast feed both kids and both were different. Isaac wasnt breastfeed until almost an hour after he was born and took to it just fine, and nursing hurt for almost a week after. Isabella nursed right after she was born and was a pro right from the beginning yet it still took a week before it didnt hurt. Isaac never wanted a bottle even as a new born. I gave Isabella a bottle a few times when she was little and she took it just fine and didnt seem nipple confused. Good luck with everything. I know you will figure it all out. Dont stress too much about it, I know you and Dave will be great parents.
I can relate with everything you are saying. I have read tons on nursing, nursed two kids, received extensive hospital training to teach breast feeding for new moms and for babies in the Newborn ICU, and have taught hundreds of mothers how to breastfeed (granted at this time I had never breastfed myself). Just like every woman is different, their pregnancies are different, their children are different, nursing experiences are different as well. I think that if you learn the basics of nursing and practice, practice, practice then you and your baby will learn and be fine. As you have observed breastfeeding isn't a walk in the park for most people. One of the best things I have found on practical advice on nursing and solving nursing problems is found online at kellymom.com. I have found that nursing goes well for awhile, but there are always new obstacles that come. Breastfeeding for most people takes great dedication and committment. My two boys have had to have bottles early on (within the first few days) because of jaundice(Nate & JOsh) and supposed not enough weight gain (Josh). They have done fine with both and I love that John can be involved in the feedings every once in awhile. A book from a pediatrician called Healthy Sleep Habits (I recomend this book highly) says that one bottle a day doesn't hurt your mild supply or cause confusion with nursing. Learn all you can and make the best judgements. Your the mom and ultimately you will make the best decisions for your own child and own circumstances. I know it can be confusing with all the advice out there, but you will do a great job and you will love being a mom! Good luck!
Ooooh, I don't know if I much care for Dr. Nazi. One, because if you don't have a uterus, you don't get an opinion. And two, because I hate those who make a mom feel guilty if things aren't going well or she doesn't want to nurse exclusively .
That being said, here's my two cents. Both of my kids were great nursers from the beginning, but it still HUUUUURT for at least two weeks. Just when I felt like giving up because it was agony, things got much better and have been great ever since. So hang in there at the beginning. Both my kids have also gotten occasional bottles. With Warren it was out of necessity (I was going back to work part-time), but we liked it so much that we started Cami on a bottle right away, too. Most days she gets one formula bottle (sometimes two). I'm no expert, but it seemed starting them on one right away helps them get used to the idea, and avoids "nipple confusion" later. And maybe it depends on the baby, but they both could care less if it's a bottle or me. It gives you a little flexibility and a few hours of freedom :) when needed. And I think it's a nice way for baby to bond with Daddy, too. I think I have the best of both worlds by doing a little formula every now and then. (I pump sometimes too, but I feel like a cow so it's not my favorite thing to do)
Good luck! I know you'll do great.
According to the lactation specialist, Tanner had a great latch. But breast feeding ceased to be painful until he was about two months old. If you can endure the pain, I think it's probably the best way to go. If you can't, do not feel guilty or selfish for putting your baby on formula. We introduced a bottle between weeks two and three. Tanner took it immediately and had no problems going between breast and bottle. At three months, he decided he didn't want to take a bottle anymore. If you want to have the flexibility of feeding your baby with a bottle, make sure someone is feeding her with a bottle on a regular basis.
I am as lost as you are...
My mom had zero issues feeding all of her 7 kids and I'm scared that gives me a false sense of reality! Hopefully we can handle it!
I never got sore nipple. I was even prepared with all the creams and such and ended up giving it all away because I never used it. I also gave Addi a bottle at a week and she was fine. She preferred nursing but would take a bottle from other people she did go through a phase for a month or so where she didn't want the bottle at about 2 months but other then that it was all good. Good luck!
Don't read anymore books written by crazy doctors. poo on all of them. Okay, so you can read books, but just take what you like . . . not everything. The reason those first few months are hard is that we read too many books that tell us we are doing everything wrong. Follow your instincts . . . easier said than done . . . but oh so true. If you want Dave to help, introduce a bottle early, baby won't reject your breast. If you want to sleep in the hospital send her away! :) I did, and it was bliss. After all, she won't remember the hospital, so she won't be scarred. Just do what makes baby AND you happy and at peace. A stressed out momma is worse than one who is doing everything by the book. You will do great Abby and what a lucky girl to come to and Dave. Only a few more weeks! Yipeeeee!!!!
It hurts. Like like razors. For a while, and then it doesn't. Just listen to your nurses at the hospital and ask for a lactation speicalist to visit you there. You MUST use Dr. Newmans nipple cream. I think it is perscription only, but it is incredible. Every mom gets a perscription for it at my hospital.
Dave can help feed, but waiting a few weeks is probably a good idea.
Post a Comment