Thank you to everyone for their congratulations on Dave's acceptance, and their support and concern for how Paige and I are doing. I'm sorry if I haven't really accepted any offers to help, it's just I'm so unorganized at the moment (and for the last month) I don't even know where to start in asking for help. I'm in a good mood right now because I haven't yet awaken Paige to eat (meaning she's sleeping!), I'm feeling productive because I actually have two loads of laundry running downstairs (I do miss having my own machines
, would be so nice with a baby) and the most painful part of my day is over... well, the second to most painful. The most painful doesn't start for about 3 hours after the first one, so I've got a little time to be productive. So, like I said, I'm in a good mood
at the moment, enough that I can admit I'm a mess! Does every new mom feel this way? Seriously, my physical appearance is disgusting, and the apartment... oh the apartment! I can't even tell you. Not one room is clean. Dave's mom is coming on Thursday and I shudder to think what this place will look like when she arrives. I really am trying, but time just slips away. Well, it doesn't really slip away, I know where it goes: because of Paige's new-found heart condition she isn't gaining weight so I'm back to nursing every 2 hours and pumping. I can't physically keep up with that schedule, but I'm doing my best. And then when the pain starts (again, I only have a short window of time where I'm virtually pain-free) I am pretty much incapacitated. I can only get up for five minutes before I have to hurry and lay down again. And I have to lay down flat on my back, which means I can't even nurse! nor pump. It's such a waste of time. Thankfully not every day is that painful.Paige is waking up so I need to hurry (blogging is one of my little treats during that free window), and i'll try and switch the laundry. That will be it for the day I think. Somehow nothing ever gets done in the afternoon... hmmm. I started out the day ambitious, but I doubt I'll even eat a real lunch or start dinner, but I'll try. And I'd like to at least vacuum the front room and maybe clean the bathroom. Ok, there's my To-do list (not mentioning, of course, the nursing and pumping. Phew. I'm tired already. Let's just hope the pain stays away today, then maybe I'll get all this done.) Oh! She's awake, gotta go.
p.s. How can I feel like such mess but also feel so happy and content? The salve for my soul comes when I cuddle my little girl. Oh, she is so tiny and so adorable. Those big liquid eyes, and that gummy smile? My heart just melts and reminds me, this is temporary and sooo worth it. If only the chaos around the house would melt, too.
p.p.s: Natalie, I'm so sorry I haven't mailed your birthday gift. I've had it wrapped and packaged now for a week (same with your book, Emily.) I just can't seem to make it to the post office, and Dave isn't out of clinic until after it closes. It's coming. Molly... your gift may be a bit delayed too. But Happy birthday!
10 comments:
Wait abby I am so confused. What do you mean paige has a heart condition?I have never heard this before!
You're amazing. Way to see the joy in the moment. It's so easy at this point in motherhood to long for the future and miss out on the precious moments you have right now with your itty-bitty. Things WILL get better. I'm sorry you're in such pain, that's not something I can relate to, but hang in there. You're in my prayers. Love ya.
Being a mess is normal, although it sucks and is really hard. Especially if your life revolves around breatfeeding and pumping. I know what it's like. Saying it gets better doesn't really help, but it's true. Don't worry about the book, I'm not that anxious about it.
Don't even worry about the gift! It is amazing you would even remember a birthday. You have a newborn! And yes...being a mess is normal. I still am.
What heart condition?!?!
Abby,
Every new mom feels like a mess. It will get better (the house part) by around month three... I always just tried to pick onr thing to do for the day, even if it was just making the bed. Why are you in so much pain? Also, what is Paiges heart condition? Our little Hannah has a heart defect and will need several heart surgeries. She has been in the NICU for 2 weeks now and will hopefully get to come home soon. Take care and rteally just enjoy the time with just you and her and the cuddles.... they wont last much longer after the 1st birthday :) If you ever need to talk email me and we can exchange phone numbers... maybe we can be of some support to one another with having babies with heart condtions.
Abby,
Every new mom feels like a mess. It will get better (the house part) by around month three... I always just tried to pick onr thing to do for the day, even if it was just making the bed. Why are you in so much pain? Also, what is Paiges heart condition? Our little Hannah has a heart defect and will need several heart surgeries. She has been in the NICU for 2 weeks now and will hopefully get to come home soon. Take care and rteally just enjoy the time with just you and her and the cuddles.... they wont last much longer after the 1st birthday :) If you ever need to talk email me and we can exchange phone numbers... maybe we can be of some support to one another with having babies with heart condtions.
Abby mohterhood is quite a change so please if Ican do anything even if it is watch Paige for a half hour while you shower I am more than happy to help out. Time does pass so quickly and soon she won't be so small anymore.
Hahaha, Abby, I think it was inspired for you to become my VTer, we'll have a marvelous time chatting about all these things. you certainly aren't alone in this (although Brian thinks I'm the only mom who has such a hard time after giving birth). Just be glad your mother-in-law didn't call this morning to tell you she was coming for a short visit and would be there in 3 hours, only to leave you with that 3 hours to cry and try to think of how to politely ask her not to come because your house is a disaster, you are exhausted and don't want to give up any of your precious naptime entertaining a guest, and your toddler is having raving tantrums so you can't get anything done but at least want the day to yourself not having to worry about keeping up a good appearance for in-laws. Phew, at least today's over. And the to-do list? don't expect any of that to get done in the next, say, 4 months :) Oh the joys of motherhood. But really, it is wonderful and just gets better after 2-4 months. Just hold on til then!
I bet you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. She looks so beautiful!
Sounds like you're adjusting to motherhood just fine - It's kind of a baptism-by-fire introduction to a new life. Don't fret about not getting anything done for the next few months or even year. Remember that Tanner still does not have a crib and you'll feel good that at least Paige has a proper place to sleep!
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