Feeling less anxious

I'm not so anxious anymore about our little girl's vitality. I still can't feel her much, but I do feel her; multiple times a day even. Yesterday was the best however. Dave and I decided to take a little road trip down to the historical town of Nauvoo and spend some time in the Temple. If any of you have not been to the Nauvoo Temple, I must tell you it is beautiful inside! Due to being in the Nauvoo Temple district, Dave and I have had the privilege of cleaning it on a previous occassion. Talk about a neat experience: being handed a duster and told "Just find all the hard wood you can throughout the temple and dust it. Ok, go." That's it. Walking through the silent Temple at your leisure, no one around... well, I love this Temple. And apparently, so did our baby. Yup, that is where she came alive. During the entire session as I sat quietly, she did not. It was only too bad Dave couldn't be next to me to feel her too, though perhaps that would have been a bit out of place...
On a totally different note, we've been trying to decide on baby stuff, right? Well, that includes what we should get rid off - dangerous furniture, etc. The main object in question has been my prize possession - our fish aquarium. My Mom and Dad gave it to me for Christmas when I was 16 years old. I know a lot of youth go through a phase where they want a pet in their room, and I know that phase is frequently short lived and resulting in a neglected animal, upset mom, filthy tank, and an odor permeating the hallway. Well for me the aquarium was my best Christmas gift ever. Except for a couple of my college years it always came with me. Recently however it has been neglected. After 10 years the light fixture finally went out plunging the tank into darkness, which over time and with some new neglect turned into a murky blackness. This brought up the question of should we worry about getting a new ($50) light fixture? And what about the dresser? Is it secure? Gradually over the last two months we've been swaying towards, lets just get rid of it and get a new one once we're out of school and established. Mind you, if everything goes as planned and Dave is able to specialize, we won't be out of school for another 3 - 4 years. Two nights ago I had just about made up my mind to get rid of it, when I imagined being a stay-at-home mom without my fish. I about had a panic attack. What a boring house without their little bodies moving around making the quiet house at least feel somewhat alive. What peaceful entity will I look at as I try to relax and enjoy a few moments of quiet? How will I be able to hold up my baby and point out the different fish if there aren't any to show her?! Who will stay up with me while Dave sleeps and I nurse?
When Dave came home I began calmly bringing up the topic, as done several times before, but this time it quickly became more desperate and I started just saying "I want to keep it! I just want to keep it!" He looked at me with slightly shocked eyes and said, "OK, OK. That's fine. That's fine. We'll keep it." Oh. So yesterday, right after we returned from the Temple, I went and bought the new light fixture, and... I feel much better.