Baby Paige isn't doing so well...

The "gory details" will have to wait until after this brief update. This morning Paige was a little upset when the nurse drew her blood. So I decided we needed a little skin-to-skin time. Aside from all the interuptions of routine medical visits, the two of us were able to enjoy a short time of bonding with her warm little diaper-only body sleeping against my chest and the blankets covering us both. Too soon she was taken away for a routine exam. A nurse returned to inform me Paige had been wisked off to the NICU (Natal Intensive Care Unit) when she began hacking up thick flem/amniotic fluid and struggeling to breathe. Apparently her whole little body had began turning blue. They checked her oxygen levels and twice the results were very low. With inadequate testing equipment in the regular nursery they took her away and came to tell me what had happened (I hadn't gone with her; I was enjoying my first full hour of sleep.) Dave cancelled his afternoon patient and hurried back. I'm so glad because after walking in and seeing her little body with anIV in her tiny hand and tubes all over her body, I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle this well. After about an hour she seemed to be staying steady and they began suspecting a problem with her blood (perhaps too thick and unable to carry enough oxygen) which would probably require a partial blood transfusion to thin it out.) After a few other tests, however, she again began coughing and choking and they could see something else was probably wrong. The only reason I am writing this is because Dave sent me away. I walked around the corner and saw my brand new baby, now with oxygen tubes in her nose and a tube going into her nose and down into her throat; I began to lose it. Holding me, Dave explained the different tests and radiographs they were taking, and that the test they were currently trying to do wasn't working because something was blocking the tube in her nose from actually going down her throat and so the doctor had left to get a bigger/stronger tube to thread down there. Dave said I wasn't allowed to stay and see Paige go through that (he'd been their the first time and there was no way he'd let me watch.) So here I am, alone, upstairs, and sobbing over the computer trying to not picture her.
(Ten minutes later)
Ok, I've calmed down a little bit. I recognize that everything will probably be just fine and later I will feel awfully silly for writing this post. I just can't help picturing her big eyes looking up at me, while her little lips suck on my finger, and her just watching me while I talk to her. If a problem were going to happen, I'm sure glad it happened here at the hospital and not tomorrow at home... I'm pretty sure she won't be coming home with me in the morning.